Whispers of Grace
Walking with God is filled with mountaintops and valleys. Join passionate yet flawed Jesus-lover and mother of four Julie Colbeth as she delves into the Scriptures with a refreshingly honest perspective that will bring hope and encouragement to your day.
Whispers of Grace
Spoiler: Hiding Under A Blanket Isn’t Sanctification
*Special Episode* Outside of Sunday Women's Retreat --Part 1 of 2--
I was blessed to share at the Outside of Sunday Retreat in Spring 2025, here is the recording. Check out Christa Otter's ministry at Outside of Sunday Podcast | Christian
Ever feel like you believe the right things but live without the joy you were promised? We open 1 John and get honest about the gap. John writes as an eyewitness who touched and followed Jesus, inviting us into koinonia—deep, shared life with God and one another—so that our joy may be full. Not a fleeting mood, but a calm delight anchored in truth.
We unpack the line that changes everything: God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. That claim ends fence-sitting. If we say we walk with Him while clinging to shadows—comparison, bitterness, secret comforts—we feel like frauds because our lives and lips clash. The turning point isn’t willpower; it’s light. When we welcome the light, it reveals what wounds us and heals what binds us. Confession becomes more than a doorway to salvation. It becomes a daily habit that keeps fellowship warm, clears the fog of shame, and lets grace do its cleansing work.
Across this conversation we explore how surrender reframes growth, why honest confession leads to freedom, and how joy rises when we stop hiding. Expect practical language, Scripture woven through, and stories that meet you where you are. If you’ve been carrying the weight of trying to look “together” while feeling empty, this is a gentle but clear call back to the heart of the gospel: bring everything into the light and let Jesus do what only He can do.
If this spoke to you, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope today, and leave a quick review so more women can find these conversations. What will you surrender this week?
Kiora, and welcome to Whispers of Grace, a place for women to be encouraged by God's holy word. I'm your host, Julie Colbeth, and I am overjoyed to dig into the Bible with you today.
Christa:I'm just going to introduce Julie and then we're going to get straight into it. So, yes, our first speaker for the weekend is the lovely Julie Colbeth. So I first connected with Julie in early 2024 after someone recommended her podcast. It was actually Hayley from Toronga. Julie is such a patient Bible teacher. I love her podcast, Whispers of Grace. It quickly became one of my favorites. She really does help us dig into the truth of scripture gently, brushing away confusion and revealing the truth and the treasure that is inside. Her teaching has impacted me in a big way, and every time I listen, I learn something new and feel challenged to grow in my understanding of God's word. But more than that is the grace that flows both through her teaching and through her life, and I'm really thankful for that. Julie is passionate about truth, unity in the body of Christ as well, and grace for the broken places we all have. She's a wife and mum of four, an outdoors lover, and a bit of a bird geek, I hear, and someone who carries both boldness and tenderness in how she follows Jesus. Her story hasn't been without challenges, but through every messy and painful season, she's seen God bring growth and redemption. And I'm so thankful she's here with us this weekend. I know the Lord has something really special to share through her today. So welcome, Julie.
Julie:Thank you, Krista, for the intro. I think when I used to get introduced for things and they would say nice things about me, I would feel really bad, like, oh, stop saying nice things. But I the more that I grow in God, the more I realize that truly every single little bit of goodness that you have seen is only because of Jesus. And I'm gonna be really weepy today. The Lord has just been had me in a season of breaking and building me back up and really showing me that truly anything that is good that is in me is from him. So it's okay to claim that because it's his glory. It's truly for him because I know what it looks like when I do things and I know what it looks like when he does. So I am so excited to be here with you and get into the word of God because it is truly my most favorite thing in the whole earth to do is to dig into the word and to teach and to encourage us. Because I look out and I see all of you, and I truly feel like you're my family. You guys, like what I was saying yesterday, like we're gonna spend eternity together. How beautiful is that! Like, I don't know all of your names, but we are gonna be ever forever bonded in the fellowship of Christ. And that is just that is the truth that supersedes anything we can see. Anything that we walk in, any of our friendships is that truth. That eternity is awaiting us, and we get to know each other there, and that is so encouraging. So, today, what I want to show and what I want you guys to see is the light of God and what that really means. I love the verse that Krista picked because it had light in it, talked about the light of God, and I was like, oh, this is the verse that I'm gonna settle into. And it brought me to the book of 1 John. So if you have your Bible, please open to 1 John. It's at it's near the end. So if you're hitting like Jude and Revelation, go a little bit forward and then you'll be at 1 John. Have you ever wondered how your Christian life is really supposed to look? Because we live in a fallen world and we are fallen people and we live around other fallen people. And it is really, really hard, I think, to take the truths of the scripture and see them actually played out in our life. I think in our heads we we know the gospel. We know that Jesus was crucified for our sins, that he took them. If you, it says that if you confess with your mouth and you believe in your heart the Lord Jesus, then you'll have salvation. And for those of us that have accepted that, have believed in that, we know that we're saved. We know that we're following Jesus. But sometimes our life doesn't look like it and it doesn't feel like it. And we ask, where is the joy? Where's the power? Where is the intimacy? Where is the sanctification? Like I don't feel like I'm really a Christian. Have you ever thought that before? Or is my life just this big lie? Am I actually following Jesus? Where's the freedom? Where's the growth? Where's the passion? Where is the abundant love that we're supposed to have for other people? I know I have had long seasons where I have felt empty and devoid of all of these good things that God says that He gives to us. And He tells us over and over again that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. But I don't always feel like things I'm carrying are light and easy. So, how do we make sense of what we see in our life and what we read in the scripture and what we know to be true? I want to dig into the book of 1 John because there's 1 John is an amazing book. If you haven't read it or you hadn't read it lately, I would suggest over the next couple of days, it's just a couple of chapters. It's a really easy read. Now, the man who wrote this is John, the one that laid his his head on the breast of Jesus at the Last Supper. This is the bill, John the Beloved. So this is a man that walked with Jesus, that was one of his intimate friends, that saw him transfigured on the mountain. This is who this man is. I think if we're gonna take truth from any other source besides Jesus himself, this man is somebody that we would want to listen to because he was intimately acquainted with the heart of Christ. I can't even imagine. All right, so the book of 1 John, we're just gonna read the first three verses. It says, We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen. We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is the word of life. This one, who is life itself, was revealed to us, and we have seen him. And now we testify and proclaim to you that he is the one who is eternal life. He was with the Father, and then he was revealed to us. We proclaim to you that we ourselves have actually seen and heard so that you may have fellowship with us, and our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. We are writing these things so that you may fully share in our joy. So that is how he starts out his gospel, his little baby gospel. The evidence of truth that he is laying out. He's telling everyone, I'm an eyewitness. I actually touched Jesus, I walked with him, I saw him when the mobs came against him, I saw him ministering when he was exhausted, I saw him transfigured, I touched him, I saw him. So it's like he's pleading with this in the beginning of this book. Listen, I've been with Jesus, listen to what I have to tell you. And I think that that takes me aback when I think about the reality of that. Because if you want to know, like if I didn't know Krista and I met her, who do you think I could talk to that would actually be able to tell me who she is? Jamie, right? Her children, her best friends, her mom. These are the people that really, really know us. And this was that person for Jesus, for the Son of God. This was his close tight person. Now, we actually, he tells us in the beginning of this book why he's written this letter. It says in verse 3 that you may have fellowship with us, and truly our fellowship is with the Father and His Son Jesus. So he's saying, the reason I'm writing you this letter is so you can have deep, intimate communion with us, with Jesus, with the Father, and with the Son. That's the purpose of writing this letter. And the beautiful thing about that is he just said that he was an eyewitness, and all of his friends at this time are being scattered and persecuted. And he's still standing in firmness, talking about talking about this truth, talking about this God of light, and wanting to invite other people into that fellowship. Now, the word he uses fellowship, the Greek word is koinania, which is a pretty common Christian word that we like to use for things. Koinonia means like-mindedness, a partnership or a sharing, a communion and a deep connectedness. So that is John's the reason. He wants us to have a deep connectedness with Jesus, with the Holy Spirit. I can't think of anything that I want more than that, truly, because I know I desperately need it. I cannot continue to walk in this life without a deep connectedness to God. And he tells us that this fellowship is essential. He mentions it first. It's essential for having this connectedness with God, but also with other people. With fellow this fellowship that we share with one another is so, so important. Because when we're with other people, it's difficult, right? It's not easy when we have our spouses and our brothers and our sisters and our children and our friends. We rub up against each other. People say things that bother you, they look at you a certain way. We have all of these times where we just brush up against each other, but that fellowship is so necessary to make us more like Jesus. So John is calling us into that fellowship, not only with Jesus who gives us salvation, but with everybody else that has fallen and trying to figure it out just like us. And that is not easy, my friends. Walking in fellowship, like-mindedness with other believers is difficult, but we're called to it. John tells us his second motive for writing in verse 4. He says, These things we write to you that your joy may be full. Now, this kind of relates to what I talked about at the beginning. I don't always feel like my joy is full. I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel really, really sad or angry or discouraged or distracted. But John is saying that our joy can be full. Now, the joy that he's talking about is rooted in truth. It is immovable, it is unshakable, and it is impossible to take away from or add to. It is unchanging. That's what he says about joy. And this joy that he's talking about can fill you up to the top. Think of when you're filling up a picture and then the water runs over the top. That's the picture of the joy that he's saying that we should have. It's that overflowing cup. The Greek word actually means a cheerfulness, a calm delight. I love that. A calm delight, gladness or exceeding joy. This is the same word that's used in Galatians for the fruit of the Spirit, joy. This is the same word that Luke used when he described the joy at the birth of Christ, a joy that was bubbling and overflowing. This is the word that Matthew used in his gospel when he talked about the disciples' hearts when they discovered that the tomb was empty and there wasn't a body there anymore. This is the same word, joy, an overflowing, calm gladness that cannot be held down by circumstance. This is the same word that John used in his gospel to describe the state of a woman after she gives birth to a child, the joy that she feels that is poured out in your heart. That is something that God does. So this joy that John is wanting us to fellowship with him in, it is deep, it is intense, but it relies on truth. It relies on life and love to flourish. It is not based on our circumstance, it is not based on our ideas of what we think our life needs to look like. This is why the Apostle John writes the letter to the believers. He was inspired by this joy and he wanted to share it with others. And the truth is that this joy that fills us up is for each of us to walk in in real life. It's not just a pretty picture that we put on a shelf. It's something that is realistic, that we can actually function in in our day-to-day life. And I think that we're all here because we're seeking that truth and the joy that comes along with it. The joy of Christ. We're seeking it, we're looking for it. That's why we're sitting here. Because we know that we need to get away from things to come under the Lordship of Jesus Christ once again and be reminded what is important and be reminded who we are. Be reminded who He is. This is why we're sitting in this room. It is an unshakable truth and it roots us deeply to our purpose. We're here because we need Jesus. We don't just desire him, we need him. Like I need my next breath. We need him. And I forget that. I don't know about you guys, but I forget how much I need him because I just wake up and go about my day and I brush my teeth and I get dressed and I get my kids to school and I go to work and I do life. And I forget how much I need him. But as we're reading through this beautiful little book, we will see that our happiness does not come from our circumstances. Our true joy, it doesn't come from what's happening around us. It doesn't come from the fact that our rates went up this year and we don't know what's happening with our kids and all the things, like lay out everything that's in your heart and your mind that you brought here today. Happiness comes and goes, but that joy is not found in those circumstances. And if you are somebody that is led around by your circumstances, you will be miserable. And if you're wondering why am I not seeing the fruit of the spirit in my life, it's because you are letting the waves toss you around, which we all do. I am not throwing any shade because I have been there time and time again. We get thrown around by our circumstances, by our hearts, by the messy things we walk through, and we forget who our joy is. We forget who the truth is, and we need to be reminded of this. And I am so thankful that the Apostle John, who rested his head on the chest of Jesus, wrote this book for us to understand this in a deep way. Now you might think, wow, that's a lot of words that you just said about the beginning of this book. It is, it's true. But it's really, really important for you to believe what he's going to say by setting out all those things. Because this book is not, is this book is a heavy hitter. This book throws things around where you read it and you're like, what? So this is why I'm reminding you of who you are, who you are in Christ and what the Bible says about you. All right. First John, we're gonna move on into verse five. It says, This is the message that we heard from Jesus and now declare to you. God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. That is a very simple statement, but there is power, and that simple statement. There is no yin and yang, there is no little spot of darkness in God. God is completely pure, he is not compromised in truth ever. Regardless of what Satan does or what we do or what the world does, his truth is not compromised. He is light. He does not lack in love, he never fails at loving you, even when you screw up. He loves people that don't even love him and gave his life for them. He is pure light. He is not a God who breaks promises because he is pure light. He cannot lie. These things should give us hope because then when we read what he says, we know all these things are true. There can be no harboring of falsehood in God. He never hides. He doesn't have envy, he doesn't have to strive. There's no pride and no vanity in our God, no selfish ambition, because he is light. The only reason that we have any light in this earth is because God spoke it into being. Any little picture of light, like I said with Krista's introduction, any little shimmer of light has come from God. Everything that is good and true finds its source in him. And nothing corrupt can touch his perfection. Nothing can destroy that. Now that gives me a lot of hope because if you look around the world, it is discouraging. What is happening in our country, what is happening in other countries, the wars, the famines, the persecution, it is very easy to think, God, how are you still in charge of all this? But he is light. He's not changed by circumstance, he is above it, he knows it. Not only does he know it, but he still rules it all. He's still in charge. There is no fence sitting with this kind of light. And this is the truth that the book of John, first John, brings us to. There is no fence sitting. You cannot be the yin and the yang and think I'm just gonna sit in the middle and I kind of believe in Jesus, but I don't want to give him my life. You can't do that with this kind of a God. You're either in or you're out. He says, Jesus says, you're either for me or you're against me. And that is the kind of truth that the book of 1 John brings to us. And it is a hard truth and a hard reality to face, but I would be doing you a disservice if I did not bring you face to face with that truth. There is no part-time sunbathing in the light of the King of Kings, and then seeking the shadow's embrace to make you feel better and comfort your heart. How often do we do that? Where we love Jesus, we're filled with his light, but then we really need some comfort, and so we seek it in the shadow. We seek it in the world, we seek it in things that are not found in who he is, and we expect it to fill it up, fill us up, and really it's poisoning our soul, but we think it's giving us life. That's what we do, ladies. Because we set our hope and our mind on things that just don't fill us up because they're not the light. They're not, they can't compare. Help me watch the time because I'm not good at watching the time. First John 1, 6. So the next verse down. Oh no. Oh, we did. God is light and there's no darkness. Yes, we're up to six. So if we say that we have fellowship with him and walk in darkness, we lie and we do not practice the truth. Now, you remember when I said this is a hard-hitting book? This is one of those truths where you read and you're like, What? So when we think about darkness, it's the opposite of light, right? Out here last night it was dark. It's not dark. I live in Hamilton, like in the middle of Hamilton. So even when it's dark, it's not dark. Here it's dark. You walk outside and you're like, you really can't see anything. And I know that there's nothing out here that's gonna eat me. There's no bears, like there's maybe a possum. But still, when I walk outside, I'm like, I'm fine, I'm safe, but it just like it kind of grows on you, right? The darkness, and you feel like it's like swallowing you. At least I do, but maybe I'm like my my mind just like goes. But you walk out and stand in the middle of a field and feel that darkness that is all around you. That is the absolute opposite of light and what light does, but yet that's what we seek so often. We want the darkness to cover us. We want to be hidden. We don't want people to see our flaws. We don't want to see our own flaws. You know, sometimes you turn that light on in the morning and you look at your face and you're like, oh my gosh, I ate a lot of salt last night because you're like, you can't see your eyes, and you're like all puffy and just a mess. You're like, I don't want the light, like turn it off. I did not need to know that that's what I look like today. And we don't want the light because it shows all of our imperfections. It shows the imperfections of others, it shows the imperfections of our world. So the light can be terrifying. We can think that it's terrifying and run away and want to hide in that gar darkness and feel like it's gonna wrap us up and just keep us safe. But really, like you flick on the light and you think of the things you do in the dark sometimes, like as a little kid, right? Like you get under your blanket, you pull your knees up, like you're you're like all huddled up together. If you turn the light on, you just feel ridiculous, right? Because you're like, I wasn't that scared. Like I was fine, you know. Everything was okay. I wasn't holding my flashlight like this, but you turn the light on, and it doesn't even make sense what you were just doing. And nothing has changed except you've turned the light on. And I feel like I see myself in that a lot. I think that I'm doing myself a favor by hiding these little things that are in my heart, or hiding them from other people, or not really talking to that person that's hurt me, or whatever it is, fill in the sins that you run to. And we feel like we're safe in them. And then when the light gets flicked on, you're like, wow, I look ridiculous. Because God's like, I am the source of joy. Like, come to me. I want to fill you. Let me do my work in you. And you're like, no, it's okay. It's too hard. I'm too scared. That person is scary. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to face that, I don't want to deal with it. I do not want to forgive, whatever it is. We feel safe in the darkness. But that's not where God has us to live. And then we wonder, why aren't we living the abundant life? Lord, why am I not walking in abundance? Where's my where's my peace? Where's my hope? Where's my joy? Where's my love? And he's like, really? You're curled up in a ball, like with the flashlight under a blanket. You need to let me turn the light on. Because it says here in 1 John, we're lying. If we say that we have fellowship with God, but we keep living in spiritual darkness, it says that it we're a liar. Because you know the truth, but you're not actually living it. And we all do that. We're all Pharisees. We all know the good to do, but we don't do it. And this is Paul's struggle that he talks about in the book of Romans, right? He knows all the good things to do, but he keeps failing at it. And he eventually says, Oh, wretched man that I am, who will save me from this body of death? That's where Paul ends. But then he goes on to say, but God. And that, my friends, is the turning point of our lives. You can hide in the darkness under the blanket with a flashlight, or you can let him turn on the light, which is scary. It takes surrender. You have to be surrendered to Christ if you are going to let him turn the light on, because darkness is the opposite of light. So when you find yourself embracing darkness, remind yourself this is the opposite of Jesus. This is the opposite of who he is and what he's created. The crazy thing is, this book of 1 John, in 1 John 5, 13, it says, These things I've written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God. So John is telling them, I'm writing this book to believers, people who have already claimed Jesus as their Messiah, have confessed, and are walking in him. That's who this book is to. And it's still telling us that we lie if we walk in the darkness. So this is a really interesting thing to start thinking about and digging into. How could John be writing to Christians and saying that we can still walk in darkness? I think that we have to kind of divide it into two sections. Because I think the problem that we have is we often rob the cross of its power by choosing to walk in darkness. And that's something that we do. That's our choice. Because theologically, I know that 1 Peter 1.19 tells me that Jesus was a spotless sacrifice. He was perfection, that he fulfilled all the requirements of the law for me. I know that theologically. So the theological part is that we're pure, just like Christ is pure. 1 Peter 2, 9 tells us, but you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, his own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of him who called you out of darkness and into his marvelous light. God calls you perfect and pure, even when you don't feel like it. That is your stance. You are seated with God in the heavenlies. That is who God says you are. But can you still throw that blanket over your head and hide in the darkness? Absolutely. And I think that's where our minds kind of struggle. It's like, well, I'm a child of God, but your choices don't line up with the choices that you've made. Your salvation is telling you one thing and is kind of dragging you the other. 1 Peter 2.11 says, Behold, I beg you, as sojourners and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against your soul. So again, these people are coming to you. These amazing men of faith are coming to you saying, You have believed in Jesus, but you still have to make a choice to walk the way he tells you to walk. You still have to make a choice to forgive. You still have to make a choice to do what's right over and over again. Romans 6.11, it says, Count yourselves dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. The word tells us over and over and over again that we have to count ourselves dead. We have to continue to choose life. We have to continue to walk in the light. Or 1 John says that we're liars. Now that may seem an impossible task. It does seem an impossible task, right? You're like, well, I'm gonna screw up again and again, and so what do I do? You know, and it could very easily like sink you into the pit of despair, thinking, I'm not enough. I can't do this on my own, and I'm just gonna fail. I guess I am a liar, you know? Or you can go the other way and be like, I'm not really that big of a sinner. Like, I do pretty good. I go to church on Sundays, I serve, I even tithe, I help people with stuff, I'm nice. I'm okay. I'm not walking in any kind of darkness. That just shows how far you are from the light. Because I have been on both sides of that, of those parties, rocked it out on both sides, and realized how bad they both are. Because when I thought that I was holy and righteous, God just came and peeked under my blanket and was like, You really want to shine a light on everything? I was like, What do you mean, Lord? And I will tell you, part of like what I was saying, and that I have been really, really broken lately, I read this book called Um Calvary Road by Roy Heshin. It's amazing. But he essentially just talks about how we have to live our lives in light of the gospel every day. And that sounds like a good Christian tagline, right? Like I've heard that before, but God just made it so real to me. Like, are you living with me every moment, every day? Like in your conversations, are you confessing to me? Uh, not really. When you lose your temper with your kid, are you confessing that to me? When you lots of things, right? Like, and since I've been getting into this habit of the Lord showing me all the sin that I have, I'm I've been overwhelmed. I'm like, man, God, like I can't, those thoughts that just come into your head, you know, or that the things that you think about, like, uh, mm-mm. You know, these little things that kind of come up and we don't think about them, that's all sin. That's all darkness, and that all needs to be brought to Jesus, to the foot of the cross. That is what he's saying. It's written for believers because believers need it. We need to understand what this means for us. So moving on, 1 John chapter 1, verse 7. It says, But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his son, cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. That again, he's talking to believers here, he's not talking to the world. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Now tell me that verse is not the one that you think of when you want to share the gospel with somebody. I know that's the verse that I think of a lot of times. If we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. That's salvation talk. Right? That's what you need to know when you come to Jesus before you have any understanding of who he is. You need to know you're a sinner, he's perfect light, and you need to bow down to that and realize, Lord, I got nothing on you. I need you to come in and fix me. You need to confess that to him. That's what we need to do when we come to salvation. This book is written for believers. Do you read this as a believer and feel like it still applies to you? Because I kind of sometimes feel like I did that. Check. That box is ticked in my book. And God's like, is it? That is the beauty of this book, is that this man who wrote this at the end of his life, after walking with Jesus for a long, long time, he still comes back to the basics. And he's writing salvation verses about confession and about humbleness and about sin. Because he's realizing afresh how sinful he is. Even though he's been seated with God in the heavenly places and his salvation is secure, even though all of those things are true, he realizes how easy it is to walk in darkness, how easy it is to pull the blanket over his head. And afresh he's saying, we need to confess our sins. Not once, not every now and then. We need to be about confessing our sins. Because he's faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us, but not if we hold on. And we love to hold those sins to our chest, and we don't want to give them up to anybody for anything. That is why you are feeling stuck. That is why you're feeling lonely and like Christianity makes no sense. That's why you feel like the Bible is a lie sometimes. That's why. Because you're trying to do the God thing your own way, and you're not doing it the way that He tells us to do it. Now, that way takes a lot of humility, takes a lot of honesty with yourself, with other people. It's hard. That is not easy to do. I don't want somebody to shine the light on me first thing in the morning. But God's like, let me see it all. I love you. I know it anyway. Bring it before me and surrender. Stop fighting me and surrender. Give it to me. Give me control. Give me your hearts. Give me your sins. Give me your struggles. Give me your fear. He knows your fear. We've all got them. We don't have enough money. What if I never get married? What if my kids walk away from Jesus? What if, what if, what if? What if the world goes into war? What we can freak ourselves out with a thousand things, but God knows every single fear and He wants us to bring it to Him. I know that we need, I need, I need to be confessing my sins. I this is something I have been heavily practicing lately. Where honestly, anytime that anything comes into my head where I feel like I'm comparing myself with somebody else, I'm like, oh Lord, I'm sorry. I give that to you. Like she's beautiful and lovely, and you call her your daughter, and like, how dare I? And then I'll walk in truth. And it's that simple. I think we get really, really caught up in the process of it. But if you can, if you can pray this prayer today, ladies, and say, God, okay, I want to do that. I want you to show me all the stuff that's kicking around in my heart that I don't I that I want to ignore. I want you to show me all the things that I don't even see about myself that I've never thought was wrong before. I want you to show me the unforgiveness and the bitterness. I want you to show me all of my fears, my striving, my self-will. I want you to show me my pride. Lord, show it to me. And you know what? He'll do it. And it's really, really hard. It's really, really hard at first. But the more you walk in it, the more freeing it is. Because you realize that that sin that maybe you've held to your chest for years does not define you. It is not who you are. That sin that you're stuck in that you feel like you can't shake off is not who you are. God says that you are beloved, that he adores you as a daughter, as a bride, that you are pure and clean. That is what he says about you. I think a lot of times we don't want to bring our sin into the light because we feel like it makes us look bad. You're like, well, I don't want them to know that I'm prideful. I don't want them to know I'm jealous. Like, I don't want them to know that I'm angry or lustful. I don't want them to know. God knows. And he knows that that's the sin, but that's not who you are. That's not who you're created to be. So cast that thing off, man. Stop making it a part of your identity. It's not who he calls you to be. But I think fear holds us back a lot of times because we're afraid. What if we give God everything and we give him full access and we really give him the keys and say, all right, open the doors, shine the light. We're terrified of what that's going to look like because he might make you give this thing up. He might make you actually apologize to the person that you've never apologized to. He might make you do a whole lot of things. But that's what it's like to walk in abundance. That's where the abundant life is. It is in full surrender. But I think day to day we forget that we're not surrendered. We think we are because we gave our lives to Jesus and we're like walking along, feeling like we're good and fine. And God's like, are you really surrendered? When's the last time you submitted all your thoughts to me? That's scary. But this is what he is calling us to do. And I think that is why John puts it the way he does. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, because that's his job. That's the part that he does, is he comes in and he cleans us out. He takes all of those sins, all of the mess, all of the stuff that you've been struggling with, and he's like, I got this. You keep looking at me, you keep surrendering, and I got this. I'm gonna take care of all this junk for you. And it's a process and it's not easy, and it doesn't just go away. But that's what our God does. And that is what he's encouraging us to do in this book to be in a constant state of brokenness, which is not easy. But I know I would much rather be broken before God than try and fit my life together and walk like I've got it all together when I'm like walking in lies, and then feeling like you're a fraud and feeling like the Bible's not real, and feeling like God's not real, and He doesn't even, He doesn't even do what He says anyway. What is this whole Christian thing about, anyway? It's because we haven't surrendered. Not really. Maybe we surrendered once at the cross, but we don't surrender daily and we hold on to stuff, and God's like, just give it to me. I want it, I want to cleanse you, and I want you to walk in the light. So I know that that's a big punch for a first session. But like I said, I think I would be doing a disservice if I didn't just lay these truths out because I think this is one of the main things that holds us back in our lives, that makes us feel stuck, that makes us feel lonely and rejected and fraudulent. You know, the imposter syndrome that everybody likes to talk about now. But it's real. We feel like we're not we're not even living our life. And I think this is why, because we have areas of our hearts that are unsurrendered. And this is what God has brought to me this week and is bringing to you. So I'm gonna end it there for this session. Sorry. Um, I would love to pray for all of us as we just kind of move into morning tea or something. She's gonna do some Chris some announcements. Okay, I'm gonna pray first though. Lord, we thank you so much for your word, for the fact that we can open up this letter that you've sent to us and it answers our questions, Lord, and it clarifies things and it brings light into our darkness. God, you are light, and in you is supposed to be fullness of joy. So, Lord, I pray that if we're not feeling that, if we're not walking in that truth, if we're not surrendered, Lord, you would help us to get there. And maybe it's not an instantaneous thing that happens in this moment, Lord, but I trust that you are working on each of us in this room. So, Lord, I pray that your Holy Spirit would bring conviction, but would also we would be able to recognize the condemnation that Satan wants to throw in our face to keep us away from you. And Lord, we we just ask for your presence to fill this place up, that you would give us direction, that it would be divine, that it would be yours. And we love you, Jesus. We give you the rest of this day, the rest of the sessions. We just pray that you'd continue to be with us in our conversation, in our thoughts, in our notes, that you would just hold on to the little nuggets of truth that you give us, Lord, and just breathe on them, give them life, bring them to fruition, God, that you would bring fruit and life. And we love you so much, Jesus. Amen.
